Saturday, December 29, 2012

How to interview yourself and to be a tame Dominatrix

Am I the only one who pretends to interview themselves? It's a great pastime, I assure you, and interviewing yourself is a fantastic way to get to KNOW yourself. You would be surprised the questions you come up with. Although my interviews lean more towards the narcissistic spectrum, such as "how is it possible to be as amazing as you are?" Or "how can you be so naturally beautiful?" And this leads me to my next musing: is it possible to know TOO much about yourself? Because if there is such a crossing line, then I am %97 sure that I have crossed it.
Considering I hold interviews of myself and all.
I mean, if I were to know too much about myself, then what does that say about me? Does it say that I am incredibly inquisitive, or just incredibly egotistical? Both would be correct, but that is irrelevant.   But anyways, I have decided out of the kindness of my heart to help you, too, find out really TMI things about yourself. So, first off, conduct a personal interview with yourself. Answer out loud. Personally, I could care less if I was in public, but you probably want to do this alone. Good questions would be like:

  • What are your favorite hobbies and what do those things say about you?
  • If you could only have one thing mentioned about you, what would it be and why?
  • What are your views on important social issues, such as gay marriage and abortion, and what do you think attributed to those views?
  • If you could only save one thing  of yours, what would it be? Does this thing have more sentimental value to you, or more monetary value, and what does choosing this thing say about YOUR values?
  • What is your favorite movie/book, and why does it speak to you? If you can't choose, think of WHY you can't choose.
  • If would could meet three historical figures, who would they be? Why? If you can't choose, think of WHY you can't choose.
  • What are three positive things about yourself that you feel proud of? If you can only think of negative things, think of why that is (is it because of your current mood, or something deeper?)
Another great way to know yourself better is to try tons of new things! It sounds old hat, but trust me, it works wonders and you will find out amazing things about yourself. It could be something small, like ordering something different at your favorite restaurant, or vacationing in a totally different country. Usually go to Florida, U.S.A? I hear Estonia is beautiful this time of year. Or try reading a different genre of book, like if you usually go for nonfiction, I suggest "Hunger Like No Other" by Kresley Cole (available at your local bookstore in the Romance section) or "Bridget Jones' Diary" by Helen Fielding (located in the......uh......Chick Lit section?) for your reading exploration. CLOTHES IS ALSO AN EXCELLENT MEDIUM. If you usually go preppy, try a black velvet corset. Usually go for the black velvet corset?.....actually, if you wear the black velvet corset, then you are on the right path and you should just stay away from polo shirts. That is your assignment. Basically, just do things you wouldn't normally do, because you truly never know what you will like till you attempt it. Personally, I like trying new experiences, because I always like the things I try. It allows you to know all sides of yourself, even if you aren't proud of some of it. Like, say you're a prom queen who turns out to love screamo; you may not like your tastes, but you can't help who you are and you need to accept ALL the facets of yourself. 
Well, that was deep. My final tip that has nothing to do with the current subject? Wave sharp objects around when you are talking, like waving a sharpened pencil about when discussing random things. It gives one a terrible sense of power, and about the tamest you can come to being a dominatrix (don't know what that is? Look it up; it's the most fascinating thing).  

Saturday, December 1, 2012

Why I hate "Lol" and "Yolo"

As you all know, I am wont to follow society standards, such as using the word 'literally' improperly and ending ill-thought-out statements with 'YOLO'. However, calling me pretentious isn't all that accurate; I like doing stuff popular kids do too. And laugh. Haha! However (I keep using that world a lot [well, twice], but I'm too lazy to open a second window and got onto, so.....), there are two main things I will simply not do, pretentious or not. I will not use Lol, nor say Yolo.

It just drives me insane; why can't people be more original? Sure, I was at peace with people saying it at first, then people started doing these crazy things like tattooing it all over themselves, or rubbing their naked body all over the Macy's counter whilst yelling "Yolo!". It's getting to be a public hazard. Pretty soon, you're going to see this headline:

So, logically, we should just nip this in the butt and stop the madness before it escalates into the full-blown Armageddon.
But it isn't just the publis safety I'm concerned over; it's the well-being of my sanity. IT. IS. JUST. SO. IRRITATING. I don't even like it when people jokingly say it. But please don't feel bad if you DO say it *sudden guilt tsunami*, just be warned that there are people out there such as me that both hate YOLO, and are also in the throes of violent PMS. This mix does not bode well for your future physical and mental well-being, my friend. Usually, I can control it, so just a minor eye-twitch occurs and I think:

But now it's different.

As for 'Lol', I mainly help it because I'm always that pronounces it as a word instead of pronouncing each letter individually. And then I hate myself.