Sunday, August 26, 2012

Watch out, Scotland, I'm coming to take your men away

I was pondering the other day about what kind of sports I like. (Not to actually DO, but to watch. One like me doesn't simply DO sports). And, oddly enough, they are all foreign sports. Which I find to be puzzling. So I've created some lovely bullet points, AND A GRAPH, to make my point.

  • Why I like Rugby (my favorite) = *see below pie chart*

  • Why I like Football (really soccer) = because it's 10x more awesome than American football. And it's really easy for a slow person such as me to follow along, while still being entertaining. And I like the way they kick the ball. I'm sorry, but I find it to be sort of an aphrodisiac. Just like I find Rugby shirts to be an aphrodisiac.

  • Why I like Polo = NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH WATER POLO. I just like to see them riding around on horses, like an extreme form of croquette. Manly, British croquette. With big scary horses. And goofy helmets. It makes me laugh.
But seriously, I love European sports. They seem so much more fancy than other sports. And rugby........don't even get me started on rugby. Rugby is just so sexy to me. They're all Scottish and whatnot, and muddy, just running around and beating each other up. Then they go to some local watering hole and pat each other on the back while nursing their broken noses and locating their knocked-out teeth. *starts fanning myself*. It isn't THAT violent in professional rugby games, but in the ones that are just for fun between friends (which is what I'm talking about here), that's where things get real. And by real, I mean hardcore and attractive.

AND CHESS. OH LORD, CHESS. I didn't put chess up in the bullet points because I don't really classify it as a physical sport. It's a mental sport. Favorite physical sport is rugby, favorite mental sport is chess. If a guy mentions that he's on a professional chess league, then HULLO, he's got a stalker in me (said to the rhythm of 'You've Got a Friend in Me'). I love guys who play chess!! It shows he's got patience, brilliance, and drool-worthy long fingers (all chess players have really long fingers). If a man were to play both rugby AND chess, then.....then........*passes out from attractiveness overload*

Now. My graphs.

And some pictures of rugby players and chess players (all sexy)


and yes, I am aware that this is a painting. Even so, the dark-haired sir playing chess is immensely sexy.
So there you have it, folks. All you have to do to be attractive to me is: play chess, play rugby, and also: dress well, read books, have good hygiene routines, not be shorter than I, never wear shorts, never wear contrasting socks with shoes (i.e. black socks, white tennis shoes), like to eat strange things (but not TOO strange), not expect me to go out to parties, not smoke, not drink excessively (we are basing this off an over-21-year-old specimen), be willing to wear a kilt/top hat/ leprechaun vest for me ( I will be expecting nothing less than a British man), like fruit, look like that man in the painting, like animals, like horses but not force me to share his passion, have an ancestral castle to his name that we may live in and raise our children within.

But that's a whole 'nother can of worms.

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Most confusing blog post EVER.

Okay, so, I am confused. Which happens most of the time, but it's rare that I actually know WHY I'm confused. So I thought I would share it:

Why do celebrity star blogs get so famous? It isn't like there isn't anything on there that you could just Google your own self. Case in point: "Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie getting married finally!" (This was a real, legit blog post on some celebrity blog thing). I was like, "yeah, I totally care. I want that information shoved down my throat." But of course I'm being sarcastic, because it's really awkward having information in your mind about a topic that everyone you hang out with thinks is stupid. Can you imagine me, a big sharer, in a group of my friends?:

Them: "Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie suck. Who cares about them???"

Me: *struggles with info*............."THEY'RE ENGAGED."

Them: *look of disgust*

So, you know what, weird stalker bloggers that have nothing else to blog about, KEEP YOUR INFORMATION TO YOURSELF. I do not want to know, because once that bit of news is in my head, I must share it. I'm like a Gremlin, but with different rules.

  1. Do not expose to gossip. Ever.
  2. Never get me curious about what happens when I click link.
  3. Never feed me after midnight (that rule still appplies from the original)
And yeah, I will probably revise this later, but for right now that's all I can muster, because I have a stack of homework and a paper to write (yeah, already.) so I have to stop procrastinating by writing about things that make no sense...BLEEP BLOOP!!!

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Good Girls Read Books

Sorry I haven't written in a while, but to be honest, I've been too wrapped up in introverted activities such as reading (whoa, didn't see that one coming, did you? Just kidding, you most likely did). Which brings me to my topic this evening, my lovelies! I've been reading various books this summer, and am quite excited to read Julie and Julia next! Link below if you don't know the summary:

(fun fact: At first, i tried to do a gimmick like that, but it didn't work out because I kept getting sick of all my gimmicks....). But anyways, as i was furiously whip-reading through as many books as possible because that's just how I roll, I began to ponder the meaning of life. Or rather, the life of a book-lover. Did you know that people who read books for pleasure rather than being forced are significantly more likely to get good grades? You probably did, but that was the only thing resembling a statistic I could find on the Internet, so you know what, THAT WAS A GOOD PIECE OF INTERESTING INFORMATION TO YOU. IT CHANGED YOUR LIFE. And it really does make sense. You rarely see that class clown slackers reading Lord of the Rings, now do you?

No. No you do not.

And I am a firm believer that the type of book you read can signal your personality. Sometimes, not always, because I know a lot of happy people who read really depressing books (I don't see the appeal, but apparently my mindset is one-in-a-million. AKA the Hunger Games success). But people who read really sappy romance books tend to be really romantic *ahem*. And people who read really sad books like The Boy in the Striped Pajamas tend to be insane. And I just realized that this paragraph right here wasn't even a thing that was supposed to happen, so I'm going to get back on track now.....

ANYWAYS. Usually, the simple fact is that if you are intelligent, you read books. If you are a really gentle and nice and surreal person, there's a chance you enjoy reading books. If you are a fairy, you almost exclusively do nothing but read books (and flit about, showering the world in fairy dust and tending to flowers and whatnot). Not to sound condescending here, but hey, I've yet to see anyone prove me wrong, so.......But anyways, see what I mean? *PICTURE GOOOOOOOGLE TIME!!*


Lessoned learned, dear ones? GOOD GIRLS READ BOOKS!! Oh, and my cute introversion picture that I thought described my state of being for this past, oh, month or so: